Talk (Infidelity / Sliding doors / Along Came Polly)
- Our topic tonight is: when is an affair, an affair?
- We are going to start by watching a clip from Sliding doors
- [Sliding Doors - Watch the first 12 minutes of the film...Helen
gets fired and ends up getting home early, catching Gerry in the act]
- 1 min – Helen gets sacked
- 4 min – Helen misses the train
- 6 min – Helen gets mugged
- 9 min – Gerry is getting it on with Lydia
- 11 min – Helen catches Gerry in the act
- 12 min – she shouts at him etc.
- [Along Came Polly -
Watch the first 10 minutes of the film...Ruben and Lisa get married.
While they are on their honeymoon Lisa ends us sleeping with her scuba diver,
- 30 seconds - the title "along came problem appears"...
- 18 mins - Ruben catches Lisa at it with Claude
- 19 mins 38 secs - stop the film just after Ruben says "I'm going to kill
- Note for a third alternative, you could use a clip from
Love Actually scene 2
The middle bit
- How would you react if you were Helen / Ruben?
- What feelings would be running through your head?
- How would this effect Helen’s and Gerry’s / Ruben and Lisa's relations?
- What are the consequences?
- Betrayal / broken friendships / split loyalties / STI
- The Bible deals with this kind of situation in several places
- The most obvious been the seventh commandment: do not commit adultery
- This was something that people were stoned to death for
- What do you think about that?
- Strictly speaking adultery refers to sleeping with somebody else’s husband
- But Jesus also said this
- Matthew 5:28 NIV
“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.”
- In other words…thinking about doing stuff is just as bad as doing it
- Why do you think the Bible says that?
- Ephesians 5:3 (TM) also says
“Don't allow love to turn into lust, setting off a downhill slide into
sexual promiscuity, filthy practices, or bullying greed.”
- How do these verses affect our attitude towards people of the opposite
- The way we talk…
- Flirtation? What’s acceptable, what’s not?
- Text messages
- Cyber sex
- The way we treat other peoples partners
- In reality most of us struggle with these issues
- How do we keep ourselves from going too far?
- Don’t lead someone on…flirtation…etc.
- Avoid situations been on your own / secret meetings with people of the
- Keep your relationships in the open
- If you are attracted to someone and you know it, become aware of it…use
those thoughts to remind you of our own partner…”think of your wife”
- Dress in away that “helps” the situation…
- Flee from it…1 Corinthians 6:18 “Have nothing to do with sex sins…”
- The Bible says
- Philippians 4:8
“Finally, my friends, keep your minds on whatever is true, pure, right,
holy, friendly, and proper. Don't ever stop thinking about what is truly
worthwhile and worthy of praise”
- To finish I’d like you to draw a picture of the person that you have
feeling / thoughts for and you know you shouldn’t
- In your mind I’d like you name that person…we’re going to ask God to help
us our thoughts and actions under control
- [Hand out paper / pens]
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Copyright 1998-2005 Nigel Coates