Talk (What should a good relationship be about?)

Talk Introduction

Tonight we are going to be talking about relationships and asking the question: "What should a good relationship be about?"
When I say relationship, what do you think I mean?
- Girlfriend / boyfriend
- Parents etc.
- Friends
I know that in my mind when somebody says "relationship" I think "girlfriend", but of course relationships include our friends, family etc.
Tonight we are going to focus more on the girlfriend / boyfriend thing but we are also going to think a little about relationships in general
To help us think about this, I've got an episode of The Simpsons: "I'm with cupid" starting at 49 minutes on "Love, Springfield style"

The middle bit

In that episode of The Simpsons, we saw how Homer and others seemed to be struggling with their relationships
Why do you think that was?
- Take people for granted
- Selfish
Do you think it is common for people to struggle with relationships?
How good do you think you are at handling relationships / friendships?
- Are you "Mr Lover man", Apu (got the gift)
- a Homer? (Ignorant)
- a Ned Flanders? (messes up but wants to do better)
The episode we've just watched suggests that the answer to all our problems is romance.
What do you think - do you think this is true?
So what else do you think is important in a relationship?
- Friends
- Respect
- Love
- Self control
- Space
- Understanding
- Interest
- Intimacy
- Communication
- Companionship

If you could have one thing in a relationship, what would it be?
If you could have one thing you could do without what would it be?

The Bible bit

There are many ways of looking at relationships, be they
- Friendships
- Girlfriends / boyfriends / Husbands or wives
- Strangers etc.
- God
One thing the Bible tells us they all have in common is Love
- Matthew 5 - "…Love your enemies"
- Matthew 19 - "…love your neighbour as you love yourself"
- Matthew 22 - "…Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind, This is the first and most important commandment…"
- Ephesians 5 - "…husbands, love your wives"
We must measure our relationships against the Love that the Bible speak of:

1 Corinthians 13 - The Message

Love never gives up.

Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut,

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Which of those do you find difficult?
Which of those annoys you the most?

Conclusion

It goes without saying, relationships are hard
- They can get us down
- Can confuse us
- Can scar us for life - sometimes we may not even realise it
- Can even push us over the edge
It's almost like our lives are marked out not only by events but by relationships, some that are good, some that go bad.
I'd like us to think about that for a moment and pray about it - what are the big milestone relationships in your life?
- How do we feel about them?
- Are they in a good state / healthy?
- Do they help you to "grow" or do they "cut you up" inside?
- etc.
[Pray]

Youth ideas home page